The friend zone has to be the most horrendous place for a guy. The thing is, it’s never something that just happens instantly, it’s a gradual process over several months.
See you think you’re actually getting closer to her and making good progress, when in reality she is just losing any sort of attraction for you every time she sees you.
The fantasies you have of this girl are diminishing fast and your chances of finally getting jiggy with her will be lost if you don’t do something soon, it’s time to go Rambo and spice things up in this cozy relationship.
You have one of two options here, either risk losing the friendship you’ve accidentally built by going for broke and changing things up to make her feel attracted to you… or you leave everything just the way it is and hope that one day she will magically turn up on your door step to hump your brains out.
What’s it to be? If it’s getting out of this depressing friend zone situation, then read and get to work.
If on the other hand, you’re happy where you are… get off this page and get back to day dreaming, because you’re seriously not cut out for getting what you want out of women.
Let’s get started.
Ask her what she thinks of you
If you’ve been in the friend zone for a while, the first thing you want to do is get her honest opinion of you so that you can gauge how long it’s going to take to turn things around.
Say something like…
What do you seriously think of me? And be honest.
Based on her response, you’ll understand what needs to be done. The two most common types of answers are:
1. I think you’re such an amazing person and a great friend
Oh dear… you’re firmly wedged into the friend zone. It’s time to bring out the big guns and make some significant changes, fast.
2. You’re like a brother to me
You’re in a very snug position. Get the war paint on, because this will be a long few months.
What you’re probably doing which needs to STOP
There are many things you’re doing right now with this girl that are slowly killing any attraction she may have had for you in the beginning and turning you into her little friend she can play with whenever she wants.
You need to stop doing the following:
- Pandering to her needs- By doing exactly what she wants you to do, you’re becoming very predictable which is not exciting or sexy, but it’s perfect if you’re her friend!Never ever do what she wants 100% of the time, treat it like a reward system, only do something for her, when she does something for you. This then lets her know she can’t walk all over you.
- Getting overly emotional- Women like security in a man, so if you start bitching and moaning around her, or become overly emotional and over react at little things she does, you’re putting the idea into her head that you’d be a terrible boyfriend to have around because you’re more emotional than she is.If she does something that pisses you off, don’t react… just be cool and get on with your life, she’ll soon realise that you’re someone she needs because you’re a rock, not someone she dreads seeing.
- Talking to her like a friend would- Have you ever come home after a night out with her expecting to get some action, but only ended up talking to her for hours about crap that doesn’t matter to you? Yeah, you need to stop that dude.If you get an an invite back to her place it should be for one thing… sex. Not to cuddle up with a hot chocolate and talk about what’s happening with a guy she met last week that she’s into. Screw that!
- Buying her things – Only buy her something when she deserves it. As in, she’s actually done something for you. If you buy her things out of the blue or treat her to things like the cinema, clothes or anything for that matter, she’ll start to expect it.
- Showing your insecurities- Never reveal your deepest insecurities to her. Some guys thing that if they do this, they are showing their vulnerable side. Wrong! You’re just giving her more reasons to not see you as a sexual partner, so you need to appear as if you have minimal or no insecurities.Women have countless insecurities, they don’t want to rip a guys clothes off if they feel sorry for him now do they? So button it and save that stuff for therapy.
Right, so now you know what NOT to do, here’s how to get out of that atrocious (no rumpy pumpy) friend zone:
How to get out of the friends zone
- Become more unpredictable- Women love a guy who is unpredictable. They won’t verbalise it, but with an unpredictable nature comes excitement and a sense of adventure, which is very sexy. So start living life a little more spontaneously and she’ll become much more attracted to you.Go away for a weekend without thinking about it, just pick somewhere and go. Sign up for a dance class of some sort, even book a sky dive… sounds random, but it’s spontaneous and broadens your opportunities.
- Socialise with other girls when you’re around her – If you know a lot of women, you’ll naturally look like a popular guy. This helps with social proof which is extremely attractive to all women, not to mention they will begin to feel protective over you, which is a great sign of them liking you more than just a friend.
- Change up your style- You absolutely need to learn the basics of fashion and create a style that is modern and works with your look. Women adore heterosexual men that can dress well, it’s just part of a woman’s nature.The moment she sees that you are making an effort with your style will spark some curiosity in her mind, this helps with the whole process. Don’t forget, if she’s known you for a while, she’s seen you time and time again in the same clothes, which is boring – so embrace change.
- Don’t agree with her- Never agree with everything a woman says and always speak your mind, say what you feel and don’t hold back. That’s what friends do, they hold back and let a girl know what she wants to hear, this does no favours what so ever for both of you.This doesn’t mean you should be a douche, it just means you should hold your own opinions on things and if you naturally disagree with her on something, tell her – she’ll love you for it.
How long will it take to get out?
This is a tough one.
If you’re following all the advice here and actually taking action on a daily basis, it should take around 3 to 4 months. However this does depend on how long you’ve been stuck in the friend zone and also how often you see the girl.
Say you really like her and and seriously want to get with this girl, then the time frame is irrelevant because you’re changing things slowly. That’s all that matters.
3 rules to avoid ever getting caught in the friends zone again
Here are the three most important rules that you can skim over once in a while to keep you on the sexual side of life, when it comes to women you’re attracted to.
Rule 1 (Understand what not to do)
Read the “what not to do” list above and keep reading those points until they sink into your subconscious, you’ll be a better man for it.
Rule 2 (Get more options)
In other words start dating more chicks so that you give off the impression that you’re unavailable and getting laid. Women will notice this and it will make them want you more.
Rule 3 (Craft your body and mind)
Work on yourself, both mentally and physically. If you look stylish, you have a good physique, you have no insecurities, you’re confident and you’re emotionally stable… with some decent money coming in, you’ll be irresistible to 99% of women out there.
So that’s it. This should keep you out of any unwanted friendships with girls, providing you stick to the rules.
Have you been stuck firmly in the friend zone before and managed to get out?