So here’s the last post in the mini body language series and explains two of the most important and crucial areas, that compliment all of the other tips that have been discussed so far.
Mirroring her body language
Now we are going to talk about rapport, which is very important as it builds comfort.
Being in rapport is when everything just flows naturally without any thought. You will have experienced this yourself when you are having a great conversation.
In this situation, it is people tend to adopt the same stances, poses and body language. Behaviour like this is not deliberate, it just happens. Can you see where this is leading? You can induce rapport by mirroring a woman’s body language (or anyone’s for that matter).
So how do you do it? Basically, you just more or less copy what she’s doing (subtly of course). Looking at this a bit more closely, there are three stages: following, pacing and leading.
Following: This is the initial stage where you just copy what she is doing. You may find that this feels strange at first and that it is really obvious what you are doing, but as long as you do it quickly, she will have no idea what is going on.
Pacing: This is a bit more difficult than following as you have to do the movement almost simultaneously. You probably have experienced this too, both of you may be scratched your head at exactly the same time or something similar. Coincidence? An accident? No, this is due to you having similar thoughts at the same time.
Leading: The final step. Assuming you have done the initial parts well and there is some rapport, then it is time to crank it up a bit. All you have to do is make a movement and see if she copies or follows your lead.
So, just cross your legs and see what happens. It doesn’t have to be EXACTLY what you do. If you scratch your leg and she scratches her head, then that’s good enough.
Touching / Kino
If you have studied any pick-up material then you must have heard the ‘kino’ word. Short for ‘kinesthetic’, this is a very powerful non verbal technique. Studies have shown that touching during a conversation yields positive results i.e. she will remember the conversation more vividly and more fondly.
The key to kino is to do it naturally and to introduce it as quickly as possible so she becomes comfortable with it right away. After all, you are just one of those touchy people who does it to everyone, right? Even if you have just met her, start doing it. You just need brief touches on the hand, arm or shoulder for example, completely non-threatening.
A good little ‘trick’ is to pretend that you didn’t hear what she said. This means that you ‘have’ to lean in to hear her, thus giving you the opportunity to touch her arm and back. Always remember to lean back out though after you hear what she said (leaning in too long is not good). You may be wondering when during the conversation is best to do it? Well, whenever you can is a good answer, whenever you think it is on.
After this initial kino, you need to be aware of how she responds to it. If you get the feeling that she isn’t exactly loving it, then stop doing it. However, if you get a good response then you can begin to escalate it.
This means that your touches can be more of what a lover would do instead of the initial friendly ones. So, stroke her face while pretending to brush an eyelash away, touch her hair or whatever you want to do. She associates this type of behaviour with her lover and will begin to see you in this light.