I’m going to introduce you to a term – closing. By “closing”, we mean either getting a women’s number, setting up a second meeting or going for the kiss. Achieving any of these can be quite a challenge for most men, as similarly to approaching, there is a chance of rejection.
In order to close successfully, which is really the end goal when it comes to picking up women, you need to be aware of the three stages:
- Recognising the time to close (her body language)
- Deciding what technique you will use to close
- The closing statement
It is a good idea to steer the conversation towards where you are trying to get to, instead of jumping in and asking for her number. This way you can subtly drop the question into conversation. To do this, you need to build a connection or keep the conversation based around a common interest.
Below are a few questions that you could ask to try to establish a connection:
- What do you like to do when you’re not at work?
- How do you spend your free time?
- Where do you like to go in the evenings?
- What foods do you like?
- Are you a party girl?
- Do you like the arts?
- Is there something that you would like to do that you haven’t yet e.g. salsa classes?
Below are two examples of how to lead the conversation to a “close”:
- You: What places do you like to go to in the evening?
- Her: I like club/bar X.
- You: Cool, its good there, have you ever been to club Y?
- Her: Yes/No.
- You: Well, me and some friends are going there on X day, you should come along.
- Her: Ok.
- You: Excellent, what’s your number?
- You: What do you like to do when you aren’t working?
- Her: I like to go to the theatre/exhibitions/museums/ballet.
- You: Have you been to that new show/exhibition etc.?
- Her: No.
- You: me neither, we should go.
- Her: Ok.
- You: Cool, give me your number.
There are times when you may feel during conversation that you have gone as far as you can that night. Maybe you have to go soon or maybe the environment/situation doesn’t allow you to build anymore attraction. In cases like this, you can use the following line:
- You: You’re cool. It was interesting talking to you, we should hang out sometime.
- Her: Yeah.
- You: (handing her your phone). What are you doing on Thursday?
Cocky / Funny
As has been discussed many times in previous articles, adopting a cocky/funny approach works well and it is the same with closing. If you do get rejected, then you can still laugh it off. Below are a few examples of how to use cocky/funny when going for a number:
- You: You can’t leave…You haven’t given me your phone number yet!”
- You: (Give her your mobile phone). What’s your number? Don’t worry I’m only going to call you nine times a day.
You may have found yourself in a situation where you closed successfully and then when you called her up she didn’t answer. This is known as flaking. Not good is it? But don’t worry, there are ways to minimise the chances of this:
- Make a connection or “find” something you can do together
- Make sure that you enter your number in her phone too
- Most importantly: arrange a date there and then
Once she has given you her number, it is a nice touch to finish with a humorous line:
You: When I call you, I don’t want you to answer “Huh? Who? Ah… its you… hows it going…”, I want you to act really enthusiastically and happy, and say “Oh, you called! I’m so glad!!” Ok? Is that a deal?”
By saying something like this, you end the night on a light, friendly and positive note. Also, when you do call her, the phone call should begin in a similar manner. Clever eh?
The Kiss Close
The Holy Grail! This is how most guys would like to close. To be able to do this, you need to be good at reading body language so you know when the time is right. Signs to look out for include:
- If she lets you touch her without resistance
- If she touches you
- If she wets her lips
- If she stares at your lips
When you get three indicators of her interest such as these, then you can go for the kiss.
The next factor to consider is the location and scenario. If she is out with friends or with family then she is less likely to kiss you. The answer to this is to try to get her on her own.
Finally, you need to watch what you say. Something like “Can I kiss you?” puts too much pressure on her and will probably result in rejection. Instead, try something like “Would you like me to kiss you?” Unless you get an outright “no” then can go in for the kiss. If you do get the big “no” then just say “ you sure know how to wreck a moment! I bet your boyfriends hated you” or “I didn’t say you could, you just had that look in your eye”
Equally it is unlikely that she will just go “yes please big boy, let’s do some tongue gymnastics!”, a “maybe” is much more probable, which is fine, you can still go for it. Also, if she hesitates but she doesn’t say “no” then you can say “let’s find out” and go for it.
Of course this is a further example of being cocky/funny. Here are two more to finish with:
- You: I’m finding it really hard not to kiss you at the moment.
- You: I bet you’re a really horrible kisser.
Now get out there a close like a salesman :)